Confused

A footballer called John Terry, who appears to be or have been the England captain, will face criminal charges for calling another footballer, Anton Ferdinand, a 'black ****'.

Any idea what's going on here? Presumably if Mr Terry called Mr Ferdinand simply a ****, that would be all right. It must happen every day (not necessarily to Mr. Ferdinand).

As to the rest of it, if I go up to a black man and say 'you are a black man' I can't see that I have broken any law. No black men seem to be discriminated against in the game of football - quite the reverse, I should have thought.

Suppose Mr. Ferdinand had called Mr Terry a 'white ****'; would he be arrested?

In an appallingly pompous statement, the Chief Crown Prosecutor for London, Alison Saunders, said 'I am satisfied.... that it is in the public interest to prosecute the case.' Why? Why should it possibly concern either the Prosecution Service or the Police, or indeed interest the public, what one footballer calls another during a game?

This is why we have no police on the beat and rioters can break into shops without fear. It all really needs to stop.

F.A. to do with them

It was eleven years ago today that Glen Hoddle was sacked as England’s football manager. You may recall that Hoddle had some highly publicised religious views which included a belief in reincarnation. He said in an interview with the Times that he believed disabled people were being punished for their sins in a previous life.

Notwithstanding the fact that more people in the world believe this than watch English football, Hoddle was criticised by many, and in particular Tony Blair, the People’s Prime Minister, said he did not believe Hoddle could stay in his job after what he had said. Rather than being outraged that a public servant should poke his nose into what was clearly a private matter, the tabloid press called for Hoddle's head and he lost his job, a piece of religious persecution redolent of the counter reformation.

Now we have the Sports Minister, Gerry Sutcliffe (no, I’d never heard of him either) suggesting that John Terry, the England captain, cannot stay in his job because he has had an affair with a team mate’s girlfriend and paid for her to have an abortion (whatever you think about abortion I suppose there may be a certain old world courtesy in offering to pay).

What I want to know is why the State is getting involved in this. If I were interested in football I should want as captain the best man for the job, even if he had fathered dozens of illegitimate children with everyone from the Spice Girls to the Little Sisters of Mercy.

Why have we got a sports minister, anyway? There isn’t a reading minister or a listening to music minister.

Gordon Brown should tell Mr Sutcliffe to stick to his brief, which is squandering the taxpayer’s money on the absurd Olympics jamboree.