13 August, 2010

Labour Leadership Contest No.6,914

Exciting news from the Labour Party leadership contest.

No, actually that was a lie. I was even going to make something up for your amusement but couldn’t think of anything, other than the voluntary break-up of this near purposeless body, which could remotely be called exciting.

Just to recap quickly, the election was on 6th May and a few days later it was certain that Gordon Brown would have to go and there would have to be a contest for a replacement.

The result will be announced at the Party Conference on 25th September, that’s after 20 mind-numbing weeks of the five dithering functionaries who are in the contest trying to decide whether they were in favour of the previous set of policies or not.

The candidates, in no particular order, are
The geeky one who gets his hair cut with a hedge trimmer, who was photographed holding a banana.

His brother

The one who helped Gordon Brown shape our economic miracle

One that nobody’s heard of with a reassuring northern accent

The one who isn’t a white male and sends her child to public school.

The thing to bear in mind is that it must be clear even to these modest intellects that they are not going to win the next election. The reason is that a new government always gets the benefit of the doubt (‘let’s give them a chance’) and this new coalition thing is too interesting (I didn’t say it was good) to let go in a hurry.

So this is a great competition in which to come second, grab a shadow ministerial portfolio and in 2020 look as if you are the one they should have chosen all along.

Perhaps that is why none of them is saying anything interesting. Anyhow the funny haircut guy looks as if he has most to lose.

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