Tedious

You may have heard about an extraordinary piece of nonsense, even by the standards of the European Union, concerning olive oil.

The practice of restaurants offering you little bowls or jugs of olive oil is to be banned, just in case it isn't very nice olive oil, even if the menu didn't say whether it was nice or nasty, Italian or Algerian. All olive oil will have to be in single disposable bottles which can't be tampered with so you know what you are getting. This is great news for the big producers but terrible for the small ones, where a restaurant might choose to put out its own or a small local artisanal product (I am just such a producer myself).

Here's what our Prime Minister David Cameron said: 'This is exactly the sort of area the European Union needs to get right out of, in my view'.

Fair enough, but it now transpires that many countries were going to oppose this and could have stopped it but that Britain, among others, abstained at the last minute, letting it through. Yes, Britain. Mr Hypocrite Cameron said 'Our argument was bound up with a whole set of  arguments we were having about rules of origin and the rest of it and I won't go into the tedious complexities.'

Thanks, Matey, but I should like you to go into the 'tedious complexities'. I should like to know why this happened that we approved something even though the Prime Minister was against it (it is being said that it was some junior civil servant who, I bet, hasn't been sacked). And I should like to know why the PM allowed himself to criticise it when he had nodded it through.

Is this how most of our laws are passed?

Good grief.

PS I now learn that the European Commission is withdrawing the measure on the grounds that it is unpopular. Suggestions that they are considering 1,429,532 other measures on similar grounds are probably wishful thinking.

Tory splits

The party Mr Johnson wants to lead, The Conservatives, seems hopelessly divided. Last night Mr Cameron had to rely on the Labour Party to get his legislation, on gay marriage, through.

I don't think it is impossible for the Tories to recover - they have emerged from such schisms before - but nor do I think, as some newspapers have suggested, that they are 'split down the middle'. It seems to me that the activists and supporters, the party in the country, know pretty well where they stand, on marriage, Europe, immigration and so on, and that their representatives in parliament are by and large in the same place (it should be noted that whilst there have been rebellions of around half the parliamentary party, the large numbers of cabinet and junior ministers, PPS's and bag carriers, known as the payroll vote, aren't allowed to rebel, even if they think the same as the rebels).

What is splitting the party is Mr. Cameron and a small coterie of advisers who are closet social democrats. Cameron was doubted by many in 2005 but made leader because they thought he was a winner. In the 2010 General Election he missed the greatest open goal in political history and seems to be celebrating this feat by going off on a frolic of his own, employing as party chairman an old university friend who thinks the party's supporters are 'swivel-eyed loons'.

There is, just, time to get rid of Mr. Cameron, although I suspect that his obvious replacement, Mr Johnson (see below) might be found out within a few months. Probably their best bet is to go into the election with their fingers crossed and afterwards have a good clear-out. Philip Hammond, the Defence Secretary, is my tip.

Alexander....the truth

No, not the Macedonian warrior king but the politician Alexander Johnson, who calls himself Boris.

For some time now newspapers have wanted to publish news of a child he fathered with an art dealer, but they were subject to a gagging order. The Court of Appeal has now ruled. The Master of the Rolls, Lord Justice Dyson, said:

‘The core information in this story, namely that the father had an adulterous affair with the mother, deceiving both his wife and the mother’s partner, and that the child, born about nine months later, was likely to be the father’s child, was a public interest matter which the electorate was entitled to know when considering his fitness for high public office.’

'It is fanciful to expect the public to forget the fact that a man who is said to be the baby’s father, and who is a major public figure, has fathered a child after a brief adulterous affair (not for the first time).

‘The mother accepted in cross-examination that any woman who embarked on an affair with the father was “playing with fire” and that such an affair was bound to attract “very considerable media attention”.’

Now, I don't want to be too old fashioned. I know that people stray; relationships, which once seemed watertight, fall apart, but I do think that a person's conduct of his or her private life is relevant when the electorate consider 'fitness for public office' (and Johnson wants a much higher office than that he currently holds). I might think, in fact I do think, that a man who treats his marriage vows in such a cavalier way might treat in similar fashion the undertakings he makes to me as an elector. This is at least the second time he has done this, on another occasion, it is said, paying for the woman to have an abortion. We are not talking about him sitting down with his wife and deciding that they should go their separate ways (despite having children of their own); we are talking about him cheating. His horrified wife threw him out of the family home when she discovered. It is as if Mr Johnson, like Leona Helmsley who said 'taxes are for little people', thought these vows were something for others, perhaps his wife, to obey. It looks as if he thought it was beneath him.

That is why it is right that this has come out and that is why I would not vote for Mr Johnson, or a party led by him.

Euro-rubbish

I have often thought that 'Eurovision' suggests that there is a common TV channel which we all, Estonians, Bulgarians and Maltese, are listening to together. Of course there isn't and we're not. It is just a singing competition which usefully, for a Eurosceptic like me, highlights our differences.

Many countries do their best not to win this ..er.. prestigious event because the winner has to put the show on next year and it is expensive. British voters are unlikely to want public money spent on anything beginning with 'Euro'.

Our technique for not winning, which distinguishes us from other nations, is to field a has-been. Last year Engelbert Humperdinck, a septuagenarian who wasn't even good listening in the 1960s, came triumphantly last. This year I thought we were taking a bit of a risk putting up Bonny Tyler, who used to have a powerful, smoky voice, like a female Rod Stewart. But....she is in her sixties, not many people remember her and the voice has gone a bit. She came 19th, which was a bit too close for comfort. Denmark won it, with a pretty 20 year old singer and a bland song.

Who should have won? No doubt about it, Greece, with the attractively named Koza Mostra and the intriguing 'Alcohol is Free'.

 

But the Greeks can't afford to stage the competition, either.

I yield to no one

Angelina Jolie, the actress, has written a letter to the New York times outlining how and why she has had a mastectomy.

I don't want this.

It's not just that it's too much information (although it is), it's why she did it. Ms Jolie sees herself as a role model who can help other women in similar circumstances.

i don't see it that way. For me it is all of a piece with Bono, a singer, shouting at politicians about children in the Amazon rainforest, or George Clooney demanding to address the United Nations (in one of their only sensible decisions in decades, they refused to hear him).

I yield to no one in my respect for Ms Jolie as an actress; perhaps she is a good one (although I have a suspicion she isn't) and she must, of all people, realise that there is a difference between Mother Theresa and the actress hired to play her in a film (I'm sure Ms Jolie is too attractive to get the part, I am speaking figuratively).

I want Ms Jolie to be an actress, nothing more. If she uses some of her income to help women with breast cancer, that is excellent. We do not need as a standard bearer for a serious problem someone who for a living pretends to be something she is not.

Game on!

With regard to the Prime Minister's in and out running in respect of a referendum on Europe, a memorable quote from Michael, Lord Forsyth

'David Cameron's position is that he is trying to persuade the golf club to play tennis, but that if they refuse, he will continue to play golf'

I expect that's clear, isn't it?

Helpful friends

I have mentioned several times in this blog that President Obama does not like the United Kingdom or its people and that we should act accordingly.

Now he wants us to stay in the EU. We remember Henry Kissinger saying 'when I want to speak to Europe who do I call?' It is convenient for America to have all these allies and semi-allies (I am thinking of the French here) grouped under one umbrella.

What I often say to Americans who promote this is, OK, imagine America as part of a large grouping, say, including Canada, Central and South America. The grouping is run by unelected bureaucrats (because no one trusts local politicians; people like congressmen and senators, they're biased in favour of their own nationality) and the whole thing is managed from a neighbouring small country, let's say Guatemala. America has to show the Federal budget to Guatemala before it goes to Congress, and it may be returned with restrictions on what it can spend its own money on. Hot dogs have to be of a certain size (no bigger than in Mexico, no smaller than in Peru) and have a controlled amount of mustard. Oh, and America has to pay billions each year to be a member of such a club.

Don't like it, Barry? then remain silent.

Another one!

The cabinet minister Michael Gove has said in an interview that if there were a referendum on the subject tomorrow, he would vote to leave the EU.

I came to this conclusion in the autumn of 1991 and was branded a swivel-eyed xenophobe.

By people like Michael Gove.

Avoidance and the duck

At a sort of pre-meeting of G8 finance ministers prior to the G8 summit there has been an undertaking to do something about tax avoidance. The meeting was in Aylesbury and no one will be surprised that they look as if they are going to duck the issue (sorry).

I get confused and alarmed at all the nonsense spoken about tax avoidance, which is of course perfectly legal (when it is illegal it is called 'evasion'). So it's rather like being persecuted for driving at 69mph in a 70mph limit. 'And to cap it all the swine Hedges had a particularly accurate speedometer on his car. If that isn't cheating I don't know what is'.

We pay the amount of tax the Treasury tells us to pay or we are subject to the criminal law. Sometimes big companies do a deal with the Revenue before setting up. Recently the Chancellor did a deal with the makers of the new Star Wars film, so that it can be made in Britain. Are they tax avoiders? Is someone evil f he pays a little bit more into his pension scheme, thereby paying less tax?

One of the common schemes for avoiding tax is transfer pricing. This is one of the accusations against Starbucks coffee. The coffee is owned by a company in a low tax area and sells it into Britain for a high price, such that the profit accrues in the low tax area. Sneaky? Then why does the government allow it? Several countries, including Germany, I think, don't allow this. We do, because we want these multinationals trading in our country.

Now the multinational always has the threat to trade elsewhere, just as the Star Wars people threatened to film elsewhere. So for a co-ordinated action we are going to have to standardise the rules, between Germany, America, France, the Netherlands Antilles and so on.

Not really likely. An Aylesbury duck.

Joy in Heaven

Two dramatic changes of heart. The first from former German Finance Minister Oskar Lafontaine, one of the architects of the euro, who now declares it ought to be broken up.

The second is from Nigel Lawson former British Chancellor, who believed Britain could never conquer inflation unless it joined the euro. He now states not only that we shouldn't be in the euro, but that we should leave the European Union.

'Joy shall be in Heaven over one sinner that repenteth'

Syria warning

In my post on Syuria a few days ago I mentioned that there was evidence that chemical weapons had been used but no  proof as to who had fired them. Now, a UN human rights observer says there is some evidence that they were fired by the rebels, the people the British and French are determined to give more weaponry to, and who contain among their number groups affiliated to al-Qaeda.

Really, we must keep out of this, before it gets even worse.

Andreotti

There is something about elder statesmen that everyone seems to respect. When, say, Dennis Healy
dies, people will remember his good points, not the fact that we had to go begging to the IMF to bail us out.

With Giulio Andreotti, who has died aged 94, this may not be so easy. He was Prime Minister of Italy three times, for a total of around six years between 1972 and 1992. As a Christian Democrat, he was close to what we would now call the worst side of the Catholic Church, the side Pope Francis is determined to get rid of. He was also close to the Mafia. A number of inconvenient people disappeared or died on his watch, including former Prime Minister Aldo Moro, kidnapped by the Red Brigades in 1978, whom Andreotti was accused of doing little to help; also disgraced banker and member of the P2 masonic lodge Michele Sindona (Andreotti was also a member of the lodge) who died of a poisoned coffee in the Voghera prison in 1986. It was said later that Sindona simply knew too much and Andreotti supplied the sugar for his coffee.

Andreotti tells us much about Italy today: he is the low point of where it has been since the war and the rise of Beppe Grillo is due to Italy's failure to kill off the modern day Andreottis.

Margaret Thatcher said of him 'He seemed to have a positive aversion to principle, even a conviction that a man of principle was doomed to be a figure of fun.' One of my local farmers said simply 'He ate us.'

CCHQ

The Conservative Party is looking for new premises after students broke in and took control of it so easily that the insurance premiums have rocketed.

A wag from UKIP suggested they might be looking as far afield as Holland, the best place to find a disused windmill with a licence to perform gay weddings.

Let Them Go

It seems that an American citizen, Kenneth Bae, has been arrested in North Korea (where he worked as a tour guide) and condemned to 15 years' hard labour. We cannot even be sure what crimes he has committed.

So, will America be rallying the Free World in condemnation of the treatment of its citizen? I don't think so. Poor Mr Bae may well be forgotten because America is in no position to protest against the arrest and locking up of people without a proper trial.

During the course of his first election campaign Obama promised to dismantle Guantanamo Bay. He did nothing about it, and got re-elected without even mentioning it.

Now most of the inmates are on hunger strike. You can't blame them. They have been imprisoned for years without being properly charged or tried before a court. In Guantanamo Bay America has lost any claim it had to be the leader of the Free World or a force for good. Its behaviour is morally the same as that of al Qaeda; or North Korea.

And now, before one of the prisoners dies, Obama has promised to do something about it, but without being specific.

Here's what you can do, Barry: send them for trial or let them go.

Italy has a government

Two months after the general election, Italy's new government will be sworn in today. It will be headed by Enrico Letta, 46 (it seems that even President Napolitano decided his first choice, Giuliano Amato, 75, was too old).

The average age of the government will be 53, which is very low by Italian standards, and of the 21 ministries seven will be held by women, which is very high. The new Integration Minister is a female doctor born in the Congo, whilst the Minster for Equal Opportunities and Sport will be a German born Olympic Gold Medal canoeist.

In my piece for The Commentator on Thursday I shall be analysing the prospects for this administration, given that it contains no one from the Lega Nord, Nicki Vendola's Left, Ecology Freedom party and no one from Beppe Grillo' 5 Star Movement.

Syria

The drums of war are beating over Syria again. For my taste the British and French are a little too keen, seemingly looking for an excuse to intervene, whereas the Americans seem to be looking for an excuse not to.

But there is evidence that chemical weapons have been used, although this is only evidence and of course there is no proof as to who fired them. The rebels might easily have discovered a weapons stash on their advance northwards.

If the evidence does come in, however, Obama is in some difficulty. The war would not be popular in America, and yet he has said that the use of chemical weapons would be a game changer. American Presidents must not use words lightly and must not back down from a threat.

There are however some good reasons why this should not escalate.

1. This is the patch of Saudi Arabia and Qatar, the two richest and most powerful states in the Middle-east. They have been giving the rebels support, military as well as logistical, and it is their war. They have plenty of money and plenty of sophisticated American made weaponry.

2. Assad's regime is being backed militarily by Russia and diplomatically by China. Saudi and Qatari involvement would be an internal Middle-eastern war. European and American involvement might mean it spreading.

3. A no-fly zone has been suggested and this sounds cozy - American planes simply policing the skies (all 27 countries in Europe together wouldn't be able to put together a no-fly zone). But it would involve at the outset a massive attack to take out anti-aircraft installations and planes: that is to say American British and French aircraft bombing people and things on the ground. Killing Syrians and any Russian advisers.

4. The Russians have a naval base at Tartus, opposite Cyprus there. It is rumoured that Bashar-al- Assad is living on one of their ships. Are we to hope the Russian Mediterranean Fleet doesn't have ship-to-air missiles?

5. Lastly, we don't really know who the rebels are and what we do know isn't good. The group which has fought the fiercest and made the most ground, Jabhat al-Nusrah, is associated with al-Qaeda. A no fly zone would benefit them just as much, if not more, as the secular fighters in the Free Syrian Army.

I have said it before and I'll say it again, this is a good one to keep out of. Let's give as much support to Saudi and Qatar as we can, and tell them to get on with it.

Welcome break

Fans, such as myself, of Prime Minister's Questions in the House of Commons have been feeling deprived, like addicts of Coronation Street being told it will only be showing a few times a year.

MPs are off again today for some more hols, returning when Parliament starts the new session on 8th May with the Queen's Speech. Then two weeks later on 22nd May they shut up shop again for a little Whitsun holiday, returning on 3rd June. But 19th July sees the start of their six week summer holidays. Then they come back for two weeks in September and before you know it there is a three week autumn break.

This year parliament will have sat for around 150 days.

Now, oddly enough, I don't mind this. Parliament is being prorogued early because there are not enough bills to debate, which is the most extraordinary good news. If MPs are to work longer I should rather Parliament were simply a talking shop, without them passing more legislation, of which we already have more than enough, to inconvenience the average citizen.

If they are not going to talk more I would recommend that the number of days they serve in Parliament be reduced even further, to reduce the damage to our civil liberties.

Richie

Richie Havens has died at the young age of 72. Havens famously opened the Woodstock Festival in 1969 and because the other acts were late, played for hours. He had a strange technique of suddenly strumming in double time - difficult to copy and it made him unique.

St George

St George's Day today, which as usual in England will be celebrated quietly: the important thing is never to let the other members of the United Kingdom think there is any kind of English individuality or patrimony.

It is a mystery as to why St George is patron of so many places: Georgia, England, Egypt, Bulgaria, Greece, Serbia, Ukraine and countless cities. Perhaps it is the string of legends associated with his name, although they are unlikely to be true. It is thought that he was a Greek soldier executed by the Emperor Diocletian for professing his faith in the early 4th Century.

Cry God for Harry, England and St George!

On and on....

The BBC's traditional inability to let a story drop has been amplified in the last week. Yesterday they appeared to think it 'news' that a man responsible for setting off a bomb in a public place, robbing a store and hijacking a car has been charged with a criminal offence ('our top story').

Incidentally Dzokhar Tsamaev has been charged with having a weapon of mass destruction, a term I thought referred to muclear bombs and chemical weapons. If we went to war in Iraq because Saddam Hussein had a couple of pressure cookers filled with ball bearings I think we should be told.

In with the old, out with the new

An unhealthy stitch-up between opposing forces of left and right has led to 87 year old President Napolitano agreeing to a second term, the first Italian President to do so. If he serves out his full term he will be 94.

Napolitano will be sworn in today and will present his plans for the future as soon as he has had his cocoa. Having beaten 80 year old Marini, 82 year old Rodotà and Romano Prodi who would be 80 at the end of his mandate the rumour is that he will appoint an interim, unelected government led by sprightly, youthful Giuliano Amato, who will celebrate his 75th birthday next month.

Really, this isn't looking good for Italy: an unelected gerontocracy.

Italy's President

I am covering the Italian Presidential race in my articles and occasional blogs for the Commentator,

which is recommended reading.

In short, there can be no new elections unless there is a new President, since Napolitano cannot diossolve Parliament within 6 months of the end of his own mandate, which ends in four weeks. Voting began on Thursday 18th and Bersani, who has a majority in the lower house, proposed a trade unionist and moderate left winger Franco Marini, 80 (that's not a misprint, he's 80 years old). This was apparently in a stitch up with Berlusconi and people were wondering what Silvio was getting in return for this (immunity from prosecution, anybody?). Smelling a huge ratto a large part of the Partito Democratico, which had proposed Marini, didn't vote for him. So he didn't win.

Now Bersani has proposed Romano Prodi, known as The Mortadella because he comes from

Bologna, who has been Prime Minister twice, and been President of the European Commission. Prodi is the arch enemy of Berlusconi and having been a big smell in the EU isn't popular with Beppe Grillo either.

It doesn't seem possible for Prodi to win, but there again it didn't seem possible for Marini to lose. This is Italy.

The photo shows the tremendous Alessandra Mussolini, who herself got as many votes as Prodi in the last round of voting, making a protest in the chamber. The back of her T-shirt says 'The Devil wears Prodi'. Outside the Parliament building there were demonstrators chopping up bits of mortadella.

Splendid stuff.

Troppo bello

Three men from the UAE have been removed from a cultural festival in Saudi Arabia and deported on the grounds that they were so good looking the local girls wouldn't be able to resist them (don't try, girls!).

As it happens, many people are wondering why I have not been deported from Italy. Perhaps the Italians are just more tolerant.

The Funeral

Lady Thatcher's funeral is today. I shan't watch it; I can remember Churchill's funeral in 1965 and that of the Queen Mother: the hushed voice of the BBC announcer, the pauses and the repetition not just repetition but again and again and again with the same clichés...first woman Prime Minister.. served longer than anyone in memory..divisive figure. Yuk. I missed out on Lady Diana's because I simply found myself unable to share the grief or even to understand it.

In truth I find all funerals, particularly big ones, a little pagan, as if the death were more important than the life. This may have been true of Lady Diana but most certainly is not true of Lady Thatcher.

And her 'life' was some time ago, between 1975 when she became leader of the Tory Party and 1990 when she lost the job. Between 38 years ago and 23 years ago, fifteen hectic years which changed Britain and the world, in my view greatly for the better, but I am happy to hear the opposite argument.

This today, by contrast, is just an old lady having died, as they do.

There has been a certain amount of idiot discussion as to whether we need Lady Thatcher now. I am a great fan of hers, but of course we don't. We have a set of problems which are quite different to the ones she faced and which have to be solved, not just with diffferent soluitions, but in a different style. Her legacy, the lesson she has taught all politicians, is surely this: never assume the status quo to be a good thing. Examine it dispassionately and if it needs to be changed, change it.

He doesn't like us

President Obama has not only refused to attend the funeral of Lady Thatcher, he has refused even to send an envoy*. He will have been told that this is an important occasion for Britain, America's ally, and that the Queen is attending, but he clearly wants to send an open snub.

Obama doesn't like us. I hope we bear this in mind in our future dealings with the USA.

*that is to say someone senior from his administration; George Schulz and Dick Cheney are going.

The Ding Dong ding dong

In the end 'Ding Dong! The Witch is dead!' only reached the No.2 spot, failing to dislodge last week's leader Need U (100%) by Duke Dumont and A*M*E.

So, that was exciting, wasn't it?

Childish amusement

Tomorrow, Sunday 14th, the BBC will as usual play the nation's top selling tunes and one of these, perhaps the No.1 will be 'Ding Dong, the Witch is dead!' from the musical The Wizard of Oz.

This has been re-released under the auspices of some left-wingers to celebrate the death of Mrs Thatcher. Many of the people behind it were not born or not politically conscious during Mrs Thatcher's period in power, which ended more than 22 years ago.

The BBC have in the past banned records, including fairly recently one by the Sex Pistols, but they should not ban this, in my view. The whole world knows how this single got to the top and, really, the reputation of one of Britain's great Prime Ministers can stand it. Quite easily.

Pomposity

Seriously, though, the Football Association has been pompously considering whether Lady Thatcher deserved a minute's silence before the matches.

I'm not sure the Lady's views on football have been recorded but one likes to think that her legacy will survive without the enforced mock respect of racist chavs watching a game played by Nancy-boys.

I yield to no one

Following the death of Lady Thatcher the detector modules for my occasional series 'I yield to no one' have been working overtime.

Current front runner is Geri Halliwell, a former Spice Girl, who wrote 'Thinking of our first lady of girl power, Margaret Thatcher, a grocer's daughter who taught me anything is possible.'

Geri, I yield to no one in my admiration for you as a....er....whatever it is you are now, but your views on reforming Prime Ministers really aren't necessary, nor is it appropriate to link them to your own publicity.

Worse, after a wave of Twitter abuse to the effect that being even vacuously supportive of Lady Thatcher is not cool in these circles, she deleted the message, apologising.

To paraphrase President Chirac, Ms Halliwell has missed a golden opportunity to remain silent.

Children and animals

Nothing much seems to go right for François Hollande, the French President. And as any actor will tell you, if they start off laughing it just gets worse.

On a visit to Mali to receive the thanks of a grateful populace for bravely seeing off the Taliban, Hollande was awarded a camel (again, listen to the actors: never work with children or animals). During the award speech the Malian politician was drowned out by the screeching of the camel, and it showed no more respect for François, although he was heard to say 'I will use it as a means of transport as often as possible'. His idea apparently was to transfer the creature to a French zoo, but the EU regulations proved to be too heavy (and the idea of the rather pompous looking Hollande riding round on a camel in a zoo, well, it's not quite what his image makers might have wanted).

So he decided to park the camel with a local family, but not before there were complaints that the beast had been stolen after the French bombed the owner's village. François promptly boarded the presidential plane and fled the country.

But now the awful news has emerged: Jean-Yves Le Drian, the French Defence Minister has confirmed that the camel, presumably inducted into the French military, has been killed and eaten in a stew.

Perhaps they could send him a bit of the stew.

Margaret Thatcher

There will be a number of obituaries, far more knowledgeable than I could write, of Margaret
Thatcher, who has died aged 87. I wanted to make a couple of observations on how she affected my life and that of so many others.

I had been a young Conservative and rejoiced when Ted Heath came to power in 1970. I was studying economics at school and what he seemed to espouse was the new economics, the new politics. By 1972 he had abandoned it. When he petulantly went to the country in 1974 on the principle 'Who governs Britain?' my feeling like that of many others was 'Not you, mate, obviously'. 1974 was the first time I voted and, knowing that I could not support Labour, voted Liberal, the only time I have done so. 

Margaret Thatcher had been, I think, education minister in the dying years of the Heath Government and my abiding memory was of a friend at Oxford who collected idiot headlines: 'Margaret Thatcher in Food Tins Scandal Probe' he showed us: she had admitted stocking up with tins of stuff in case there was a general strike, and this somehow, the obvious intuition of any housewife, was deemed to be a sin. People believed that if she had some of the food tins, others would have less, not that more tins would be brought on to the supermarket shelves. That was how we lived in the 1970s.

When Mrs Thatcher was elected leader of the Conservative Party in 1975 many people, myself included, thought the Tories had either had a fit of madness or that they had elected an interim leader before a proper one emerged,. In fact it was the opposite. In the late 70s I was something fairly minor in the Young Conservatives and working for a Swiss Bank. The Swiss, who like most people internationally had thought that Britain was a basket case, were terribly impressed by Margaret Thatcher. She even took her (short) holidays in Switzerland. Word came down from on high that I was to be given as much time of as I needed to campaign for her. And I did.

For an impressionable observer of politics the Wilson-Callaghan administration was Britain's low point. Wilson resigned amidst a cloud of speculation that he had been having an affair with his secretary, that he had made his friends life peers (including the secretary), that he had been in the pay of Moscow (he had been a director of a company, Montagu L Meyer, which banked with my employers, which regularly sent him to Russia), and that the country was in such a state that a coup d'état was being planned, led by the Duke of Edinburgh. Callaghan, who assumed the reins of power without an election, was if anything even worse. He was so weak that it seemed that every time someone criticised him he appointed a Royal Commission to sweep the matter under the carpet. Britain went begging for money to the IMF.

Mrs Thatcher forced a vote of no confidence in the Callaghan administration and won. And once she had sailed into Downing Street the world was staggered at the stuff she was coming up with. For the first time since Churchill we had a Prime Minister who seemed to believe in things and put them into practice. Sir Keith Joseph, her main economics spokesman, was saying all the things I believed in about monetarism, responsible fiscal policy ad so on which we take for granted today (at least we take the verbiage for granted). Geoffrey Howe, the chancellor, was like Geoffrey Boycott, England's solid opening batsman, quietly seeing off the new ball.

When the Falklands came along everybody, simply everybody assumed that this was another nail in Britain's coffin. Mrs Thatcher found the right man, a retired admiral, who thought we could do it, and assembled the task force. I would stop off at a pub on the way home from work and found the place packed, the customers urging on, not their football team but their country. Houses bore the Union Jack, people talked about nothing else. The country was united in a way it hadn't been since the war, before I was born. And Britain was a winner for the first time in my lifetime. It had the confidence to become a world leader, which it did with Mrs Thatcher's alliance with Ronald Reagan to resolve the Cold War. Thatcher and Reagan seemed to stand strong together and I felt a part of the bringing down of the Berlin Wall. The long decline which perhaps began in 1914, was over.

Years later I was on a shoot, in Padua of all places, and was introduced to an old farmer. 'Giuseppe here was a big fan of Signora Thatcher'. I replied that for us she had been the only one in British political life with coglioni (balls). ''Si', he replied, 'ma lei ne aveva quattro' (but she had four).

We're here to help

The banner was at L'Aquila last night for a torchlight parade. It reads 'It's sad to read in the eyes of  Mummy and Daddy the certainty that "Tonight as well I shan't be going home"'. Today, 6th April, is the fourth anniversary of the earthquake in L'Aquila which virtually destroyed the town.

L'Aquila has yet to be rebuilt. Why? Yes there are fiddles, yes there is mafia activity, but the real reason, says Chief Engineer Gianfranco Ruggeri is:

5 Special Laws
21 Directives of the Comisario
25 Acts on the Structure of Emergency Management
51 Technical Structure Acts
62 Regulations of the Civil Protection service
73 ordinances from the Prime Minister's office
152 decrees of the Commissariat Delegate
720 ordinances from the Comune.

There may be more that he has forgotten, he said.  1,109 laws which are preventing reconstruction of people's homes.

'If it rained money the way it rains regulations, L'Aquila would be filthy rich and the streets would be full of bulldozers, lorries and cement trucks'

Italy today

See my report in the Commentator on the Italian elections here

Just deserts

A footballer - they're certainly in the news - called Carlos Tevez, who plays for Manchester City, has been convicted of driving a car while banned and without insurance. Mr Tevez is Argentinian and apparently here under an assumed name: he was born Carlos Martinez. For my part I'd have deported him, which would at least have pleased half of Manchester, but he was given 250 hours community service and a fine of...wait for it...£1,000. Martinez apparently earns £200,000 a week.

I know the idea is that the law should be equal to everyone, but it would be fairer if punishment were equal in its effect: this represents, assuming he does a 40 hour week, 12 minutes' work, the equivalent of  a fine of around £1.20 to someone on the minimum wage. More to the point, if someone on the minimum wage were fined £1,000 it would be the equivalent for Mr Martinez-Tevez of £830,000.

They do this in Switzerland - last year someone was fined £230,000 for speeding - and I think we should do it here.

Leftie illiberals

What is a fascist? There seems to be no proper definition of the term. The Oxford English Dictionary declares it squarely to be a member of Mussolini's party formed in 1919, which ruled Italy between 1922 and 1943. It was set up to fight communism.

The matter has come to a head, rather, because of a football manager called Paolo di Canio who has

Paolo di Canio

been appointed manager of Sunderland. The absurd David Miliband resigned in disgust as a director of the club saying the he - di Canio - is a fascist. Of course Miliband's resignation might have been expected by the club since he is going off to live in America.

One of the accusations against di Canio is that he made a Roman Salute to the Lazio fans (Lazio is the district around Rome); another is that he has a fascist tattoo although, as someone on the BBC said, he doesn't wear it on his sleeve.

I have been too busy these last 13 years to read di Canio's autobiography published in 2000. Apparently it reveals him as a sensitive and intelligent man. He likes some aspects of Mussolini but dislikes his 'vile traits' (this is in fact how I think of David Miliband). So, presumably the export of Jews to concentration camps could be described as vile; is it something to do with the trains running on time? Punctual trains and the elimination of communism seem to be admirable political goals depending, of course, on how you go about them.

Dr Lawrence Britt, a leftie political scientist, has identified 14 characteristics of fascism although most of them, such as nationalism, disdain for human rights and symbolically powerful military could apply to any communist state, particularly China and North Korea.

So would there be all this fuss if Mr di Canio had declared himself a communist? Communism has killed many, many times the number of innocent people that fascism has and is certainly a worse system to live under. But there wouldn't have been any trouble, would there?

This is a piece of nonsense got up by the left to disguise their own illiberalism.

Urbi et Orbi

Today in my message to the world I urge the unfaithful to spend the day in contemplation of the leaders we have promoted to high office. We have awoken on the Feast of All Fools to find that the Fools hold the levers of power.

In America Obama has taken temporary leave of his senses job to consider how many millions of people he could kill in Korea. A family member has assumed the pink rabbit ears of office. Health provision will now be known as Bocare and will be open to all species.

Angela Merkel has gone swimming in a thermal bath in Ischia, however she is arrested by an EU
official who removed 60% of the water from the pool in a bail-out.

UK: In a now desperate attempt to ensure he loses the next general election Mr Cameron subjects the
 nation to Sharia Law and embarks on the formal ceremony to hand the Falkland Islands over to Cyprus










Italy, already having a comedian as head of a political party, decides the next president must be
someone really serious.

To save on manpower, the EU sends its Foreign Representative, Baroness Ashton, to invade Syria on
her own

To the Faithful

Easter Sunday, and Pope Francis will hold his first Easter Mass, followed by the traditional Urbi et Orbi message to the faithful.

This blog's Urbi et Orbi message to  the less faithful, including politicians, wastrels and drunks takes place on the Feast of All Fools, tomorrow.

The solution

For much of the time, current affairs watchers like myself sort through the political tealeaves trying to spot some connection between events, some pattern. Then comes a moment when everything seems clear, albeit for just a second. This epiphany happened for me this week and I am here to share it with you.

The only way to understand British politics at the moment is to assume that David Cameron is determined to lose the next election.

He analyses the Conservative voter and finds that he is middle class and middle aged. He is a saver, so in order not to appear too popular Cameron organises economic policy such that interest rates on his supporters' savings are artificially low and the principal amount is being eroded by the consequent
inflation.

The Church of England used to be known as the Tory party at prayer, so to ensure the odium of the Conservative voting congregations and their bishops he introduces Gay Marriage, something not promised in his manifesto and not particularly sought even by the gay lobby.

Europe is important so he promised a referendum, then went back on his word then said there might be a referendum but on his terms, just to make sure no one trusts a word he says.

He knows the Human Rights Act is unpopular with the electorate so he sticks to it like glue, ensuring that terrorists are allowed to stay in the country at the taxpayers' expense.

What do you make of it? Whilst it is possible that Cameron has a sizeable bet on the election I don't think that is the reason for his extraordinary behaviour. I think he wants to see a social democratic consensus in the country and hopes Mr Miliband, the next Prime Minister, will give him some modest reward for delivering it.

Nelson Mandela

Mr Mandela is in hospital with a recurring lung infection and is said to be frail, although responding to treatment. He is 94.

This blog wishes the old boy well, not least because it dreads the tsunami of sanctimonious hypocrisy which is going to strike us when he dies. You just need to look at a British politician to imagine the sententious cant he will come up with on that dread occasion. It makes you queasy.

My abiding memory is of a friend who bought a flat in a left-wing London borough. He was posted abroad and returned to find the road had been renamed Nelson Mandela Avenue and his property was worth £20,000 less.

This blog's advice is that if Mandela's condition deteriorates block your ears, black out the windows and on no account listen to or watch the BBC.

More....

What I hope is a few final thoughts on Cyprus.

A bank is not 'open' if you can't go in and draw your money out.

A euro deposit in Cyprus, which can't be moved out, must be worth less than the equivalent euro deposit in Germany or Greece. Cyprus is therefore not in the single currency, it just has a managed and grossly overvalued exchange rate.

The deposits in Cypriot banks dropped dramatically in the weeks leading to the bailout. Who leaked it, to whom, and in return for what?