Parliament

There are stories that sorting out the structural problems of the Palace of Westminster might cost £7 billion.

It is perfectly obvious the country can't afford this but don't worry. They will just have to cut their coat according to the available cloth, and make the sort of decisions ordinary people have to make all the time.

Here are some options. First, sponsorship.

History records The Long Parliament and The Rump Parliament, now we can have the Nike parliament, or perhaps get a few hundred million from McDonalds, particularly tempting with a Prime Minister called Cameron.

An alternative might be to move the whole thing to Bradford or Swansea where property is, rightly, cheap. Bradford being a muslim area, alcohol is frowned on so naturally there would be no bars.

There would also be the incalculable benefit of MPs learning how the rest of the country lives.