Plenty of pundits will tell you who to vote for but here is the far more useful cut out and keep guide to who and what not to vote for
Hung Parliament: I’m not quite sure how you vote for a hung parliament but the system is as I have posted: after you’ve voted they make the grubby deals; it is giving up your right to decide the government of the country.
Anyone using sickly or trite language. Examples might be David Cameron’s ‘I believe that children are our future’ or Nick Clegg’s ‘..this great country of ours..(pause).. Britain’. You’re voting for someone to make speeches in the National Parliament, for God’s sake.
The Parties
It seems to me there are plenty of reasons not to vote for each the parties, although the country is in such a parlous financial state I think it would be a democratic perversity if we didn’t vote out the people who got us here. You should vote Labour, however, if you have a job as co-ordinator of the equality agenda for the dolphin community in Nottingham, since that’s the only way you’re likely to keep it.
The People
Ed Balls (Morley and Outwood): in many ways the source of all the corrupt thinking in the Labour Party. Fiddled his expenses, claimed more money from a corrupt charity called the Smith Institute, briefs even against his own side. Architect of the overspending and of withdrawing the 10p tax rate from the poorest people, in order to put one over on the Tories. Just the sort of person we don’t want in public office.
Yvette Cooper (Pontefract & Castleford): The Wife of Balls. New Labour automaton whose political persona is limited to reciting slogans with all the force and interest of a speak your weight machine. Was Chief Secretary to the Treasury in 2008/9 so must bear some responsibility.
Glenda Jackson (Hampstead & Kilburn): vile old lefty harridan who combines the politics of Vanessa Redgrave with the charm of Johnny Rotten.
John Bercow: another expenses fiddler. Sold himself to the constituents of Buckingham as an extreme right Monday Club member, met and married a socialist campaigner and drifted to the other extreme without holding a by-election. So awful that despite being nominally a Conservative he was voted in as speaker by the Labour Party, just to screw the Tories. The British Parliament deserves better.
Tessa Jowell (Dulwich): on several occasions she mortgaged her house (shared with her husband David Mills, Berlusconi’s tax consultant) and then a few days later signed the release after the debt was repaid. Even a complete idiot would have realised she was part of a money laundering operation but she let down her fellow women by saying her husband had advised her not to bother her pretty little head about it.
Esther Rantzen: see post here. Dreadful self-publicist trying to further her career
Peter Hain (Neath): another expense fiddler with a suspicious permatan. Sly and unpleasant, he became famous for digging up a cricket pitch
Caroline Lucas (Brighton Pavilion): her Green Party is largely a front for 1970s socialism, given a trendy edge. Their policies involve spending more of your money on things they think you ought to want. The last thing we need is this sort of self-righteous tosh increasing the already excessive hot air in the Commons.
George Galloway (Bethnal Green and Bow): how this person could be a part of a sophisticated legislature defies belief
Harriet Harman (obviously)
Hung Parliament: I’m not quite sure how you vote for a hung parliament but the system is as I have posted: after you’ve voted they make the grubby deals; it is giving up your right to decide the government of the country.
Anyone using sickly or trite language. Examples might be David Cameron’s ‘I believe that children are our future’ or Nick Clegg’s ‘..this great country of ours..(pause).. Britain’. You’re voting for someone to make speeches in the National Parliament, for God’s sake.
The Parties
It seems to me there are plenty of reasons not to vote for each the parties, although the country is in such a parlous financial state I think it would be a democratic perversity if we didn’t vote out the people who got us here. You should vote Labour, however, if you have a job as co-ordinator of the equality agenda for the dolphin community in Nottingham, since that’s the only way you’re likely to keep it.
The People
Ed Balls (Morley and Outwood): in many ways the source of all the corrupt thinking in the Labour Party. Fiddled his expenses, claimed more money from a corrupt charity called the Smith Institute, briefs even against his own side. Architect of the overspending and of withdrawing the 10p tax rate from the poorest people, in order to put one over on the Tories. Just the sort of person we don’t want in public office.
Yvette Cooper (Pontefract & Castleford): The Wife of Balls. New Labour automaton whose political persona is limited to reciting slogans with all the force and interest of a speak your weight machine. Was Chief Secretary to the Treasury in 2008/9 so must bear some responsibility.
Glenda Jackson (Hampstead & Kilburn): vile old lefty harridan who combines the politics of Vanessa Redgrave with the charm of Johnny Rotten.
John Bercow: another expenses fiddler. Sold himself to the constituents of Buckingham as an extreme right Monday Club member, met and married a socialist campaigner and drifted to the other extreme without holding a by-election. So awful that despite being nominally a Conservative he was voted in as speaker by the Labour Party, just to screw the Tories. The British Parliament deserves better.
Tessa Jowell (Dulwich): on several occasions she mortgaged her house (shared with her husband David Mills, Berlusconi’s tax consultant) and then a few days later signed the release after the debt was repaid. Even a complete idiot would have realised she was part of a money laundering operation but she let down her fellow women by saying her husband had advised her not to bother her pretty little head about it.
Esther Rantzen: see post here. Dreadful self-publicist trying to further her career
Peter Hain (Neath): another expense fiddler with a suspicious permatan. Sly and unpleasant, he became famous for digging up a cricket pitch
Caroline Lucas (Brighton Pavilion): her Green Party is largely a front for 1970s socialism, given a trendy edge. Their policies involve spending more of your money on things they think you ought to want. The last thing we need is this sort of self-righteous tosh increasing the already excessive hot air in the Commons.
George Galloway (Bethnal Green and Bow): how this person could be a part of a sophisticated legislature defies belief
Harriet Harman (obviously)
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