Ford Open Prison

I don’t like public enquiries, mainly because they are expensive and only tell the public what the person who set up the enquiry wanted them to hear. But I believe we must have one in respect of the burning down of Ford Open Prison.

I was once told that the inmates of Ford were so posh that they held a special lunch for Old Etonians on 4th June.

We are told alcohol was to blame (we’re quite often told that). Well, I must say I’ve been on the odd five-star tooty myself, but never burned down a municipal building. What were they on? Vintage Krug? Or did they distil their own hooch?

The reason we need an enquiry is that the public genuinely don’t understand how this happened. The security which keeps people in should keep people out. How is it that prisoners have access to alcohol (or drugs, for that matter)?

Some say the prison officers turn a blind eye because a comatose prisoner causes no trouble. Whatever the truth, someone must take responsibility for this.