08 April, 2013
Children and animals
On a visit to Mali to receive the thanks of a grateful populace for bravely seeing off the Taliban, Hollande was awarded a camel (again, listen to the actors: never work with children or animals). During the award speech the Malian politician was drowned out by the screeching of the camel, and it showed no more respect for François, although he was heard to say 'I will use it as a means of transport as often as possible'. His idea apparently was to transfer the creature to a French zoo, but the EU regulations proved to be too heavy (and the idea of the rather pompous looking Hollande riding round on a camel in a zoo, well, it's not quite what his image makers might have wanted).
So he decided to park the camel with a local family, but not before there were complaints that the beast had been stolen after the French bombed the owner's village. François promptly boarded the presidential plane and fled the country.
But now the awful news has emerged: Jean-Yves Le Drian, the French Defence Minister has confirmed that the camel, presumably inducted into the French military, has been killed and eaten in a stew.
Perhaps they could send him a bit of the stew.