Urbi et Orbi

Today in my message to the world I urge the unfaithful to spend the day in contemplation of the leaders we have promoted to high office. We have awoken on the Feast of All Fools to find that the Fools hold the levers of power.

In America Obama has taken temporary leave of his senses job to consider how many millions of people he could kill in Korea. A family member has assumed the pink rabbit ears of office. Health provision will now be known as Bocare and will be open to all species.

Angela Merkel has gone swimming in a thermal bath in Ischia, however she is arrested by an EU
official who removed 60% of the water from the pool in a bail-out.

UK: In a now desperate attempt to ensure he loses the next general election Mr Cameron subjects the
 nation to Sharia Law and embarks on the formal ceremony to hand the Falkland Islands over to Cyprus










Italy, already having a comedian as head of a political party, decides the next president must be
someone really serious.

To save on manpower, the EU sends its Foreign Representative, Baroness Ashton, to invade Syria on
her own