The loser's race

'Mitt' (his real name is Willard) Romney has been forced to show that he only pays 13% tax on his substantial earnings, which is scarcely going to go down well with middle America, which is feeling the pinch.

Meanwhile, the Republicans come up with the brilliant idea of Newt (Newton, which is far nicer) Gingrich, who carries so much political and personal baggage he can barely walk.

The Democrats are having difficulty deciding which candidate would suit Obama, who ought to be unreturnable, better.

Has there ever been such a cock-up in American political history?