Labour elections?

The Sunday papers are full of who might succeed Gordon Brown. Nonsense is what I say.

Replacing him would have to be done in October. In the meantime even the working up of a stalking horse will drag Labour through the mire in the press. Don’t forget Murdoch likes to back winners. Then the scrabbling for candidacy to let the public see the sheer staggering mediocrity of the competition: Harriet Harman, Blinky Balls, the peculiar Milliband, Jacqui Smith, the chap who used to be a postman; then the election itself (don’t expect Gordon Brown to say ‘well, actually I am a bit of a prat’ and withdraw) with speeches against each other and backbench MPs making heartfelt deliberations on the pages of the Rotherham Evening Argus; then someone emerges blinking into the sunlight as the new leader having upset all the other big beasts. It is the end of 2008 and he or she has one year before another general election has to be called, to capture the public mood, turn policy around and get a war chest together.

I am sure the Labour rank and file doesn’t have the stomach – or, by the way the money – for this fight. And they have too much good sense. They will duck it and reluctantly play the cards they have dealt themselves. And it isn’t too strong a hand.