Mr Brown visits America

This is what we know about Gordon Brown's trip to the US.

1 In trouble at home he decides to look the world statesman and copy Tony Blair’s shtik about being a bridge between Europe and America. Assumes neither Bush nor Merkel have a 'phone.

2 Neither the Foreign Office (which used to be described as the Rolls Royce of civil service) nor the hordes of highly paid minions Brown-nosing the PM have realised that this is the time of the Pope’s visit to the US, a guy who can draw crowds in the millions.

3 There is no plane, not even a British Airways one, so they hire something which seems to have both the setting sun and half the European flag painted on it

4 Arriving he makes a speech saying he wants America to show the sort of world leadership it showed after the war. Calculated (or more probably clumsy) insult to Bush. As one US website said, ‘Expect Bush to respond by paying a lot more attention to the Pope.’

Mr Brown made p12 of the Washington Post. How do you feel about this man representing you?